Your Three Step Process for Feeling Good Now
From the Workshop How to Creatively Navigate the Seas of Change ™
Most of us spend the majority of our lives concerned about our goals and the results we produce. This can put us off balance and, we end up living a life consisting of planning, observing and judging, in place of a life that is truly lived.
It is possible, however, to foster fulfilling lives by living in the now, or in other words, by controlling the process of now.
Process is the “being” and “doing” of life. Process embodies what we do day-to-day and even moment-to-moment. It is how we feel, what we think, the actions we take, and the actions we forego. Process can appear boring, exciting, depressing, frantic, nondescript, or fascinating. It is the flow of life itself; like a river, twisting and turning, creating rapids and waterfalls, pouring into lakes and swamps as it continually makes its way to the sea.
The sea as a destination is not a goal to be achieved. The sea is merely another manifestation of the process of water as it flows from one “state” to another. The river is not a success or a failure whether it flows into the sea or only flows inland.
Clients often come to coaching to produce more results in their lives. Paradoxically, this can cause burnout, dissatisfaction, emptiness and stress. However, focusing on process provides support, awareness, and information, which inadvertently produces results. Results will naturally show up in the process of life, just like the river flows; it is how nature directs.
Clients, like rivers, experience a natural life flow.
One of the purposes of my coaching is to provide the client with an awareness of their unique and inherent life process flow. As a coach, I help others to be in that flow rather than “pushing the river” too much. This could mean helping the client pick themselves up after crashing on the rocks at the bottom of a waterfall, or riding the steady current towards the next landmark or established goal.
Recently, a client casually mentioned that she had trouble enjoying a baseball game with friends that were mutual friends of her former fiancée with whom she had broken up only two weeks prior. “Just being with them caused me to feel the emptiness and loneliness of the breakup.” Notice that her emotions were stuck in the past and her mind had fallen out of the process of NOW. She even relived the entire event again as she told it to me, experiencing the same pain she had felt earlier that week.
My Laser Coaching Solution
I introduced her to How To Overcome A Painful Past, A version of The Three Stage Disengagement Process:
- Rate how you felt at the baseball game that day on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 representing heavier feelings of sadness and loneliness. She rated the heaviness at a seven.
- Step back as if you were behind the window in a control booth of a TV studio watching that scene on a 12 inch monitor. Notice your bodily sensations and rate your feelings of sadness and loneliness on a 10 point scale.” She immediately rated herself as a one.
- Be in the stands with your friends, and then back in the studio, then back in the stands. Now how do you feel? She said, “I feel lighter and more in control my feelings, confidently in charge of whatever comes up next.”
Isn’t this great? By taking definitive action through powerful inquiries, we are able to achieve fulfillment and balance in a matter of minutes.
We can choose to detach from an unfinished past or a future colored by that unfinished past. We can generate less stress in our lives and liberate ourselves to produce more results.
Use this Three Step Disengagement exercise to eliminate negative thinking, stress, panic attacks, and even phobias.
Want more detailed guidance of how to successfully use this information?
Become a no cost member of the Living Well 60 Plus community.